Be Yourself
Nobody likes people who pretend to be someone they’re not in reality. Leave playing different parts and roles for yourself and just be yourself, the way you are. Be content with who you are, otherwise you might have some points to work upon.

Be Adequate
If the place where you invite her is a sophisticated restaurant, with high quality service and the best sorts of food and drinks, make sure you are one with this kind of environment. That is, dress up appropriately for the occasion, look at your best and behave yourself at your best too.

Give Compliments, but Don’t Exaggerate
Giving too many compliments will spoil all the magic, so before exaggerating with that, take care of saying the right words at the right time. (That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say compliments at all.)

Be Positive
Positive people always attract everyone for positive energy brings only positive one in turn. So if you want to make a first and good impression don’t even think of being angry or sad-a positive attitude will do everything for you.

Don’t Be a “Space Invader”
There is such a notion as “space invasion” – it’s when one gets too close to the person near him and violates this person’s own space. Some people don’t mind it, others – in contrary – get really angry at such a turn of the events. So, if you don’t know too many things about the woman you have a date with, think twice before touching her. However, a touch of the hands or over her arms won’t do much harm.

Take Care about the Conversation, If You Want to Get a Second Date
If the first date is unsuccessful, don’t wait for a second one. In order for a first date not to be the last one, make sure the conversation you have with her isn’t only about you. If you only talk about yourself and don’t even ask the poor woman in front of you about her, all your further attempts will fail.

For a long time it was stated that when you make someone understand that you like him/her, that person will automatically like you in turn. Well, it was recently discovered that this rule of reciprocal attraction needs to be rectified a little bit for romantic relationships.

The statistics claim that the more you show your romantic desires towards all the people you like, the more they tend to reject you. (Could the reason be the fact that in these cases you look too desperate and obsessed?)

And vice versa, you aren’t usually rejected when you see no other potential partners around you besides the one you desire. (Now, at least this is what calms one down.)dating6

What has been at the base of novels and art through all the times if not the physical chemistry and romance? That’s why social psychologists and all kinds of investigators have spent their time in searching for answers and observing the speed-daters as it was a lot harder observing the romantic attraction at the beginning of a relationship.

Paul W.Eastwick, a graduate student in psychology and the main author of this study, says, ”Unselective potential romantic partners are much less successful than selective partners who show that only you are someone really special for them. Our study consists of letting our speed-daters put all this in practice with a time of only 4 minutes for every date.”

“It’s something astonishing, the way a speed-dater is able to find out in just four minutes to what point the other person likes him and even to what point the speed-dater is unique and special for that person,” Finkel said. “Now this is something we can’t find the answer to for it’s beyond our imagination.”

The experiment which was meant to uncover the mystery of the importance of the first minutes of physical attraction was set up as following: 156 participants (students) had four-minute speed dates with 9-13 persons of the opposite sex. After each date they had to complete a questionnaire where they had to mention if they were attracted physically to the persons of the opposite sex, if they liked them and to what degree.

All the participants have entered the study Web site in the following and they have mentioned which of the persons they speed-dated they would like to meet with again. The ones whose “yeses” were mutual were given each other’s contacts.

Finkel concluded that, “A romantic relationship differs of a friendship by the fact that unlike in a friendship, the “all-loving” persons may seem desperate in a romantic relationship.”

Eastwick’s addition to this was, “That is, when you want to make someone be attracted to you, you will lose if you play the unselective person.”

The final conclusion of this experiment is as it follows from the previously said, “Reciprocity in romantic relationships doesn’t need the same criteria as reciprocity in friendships. It is only acquired when the potential partner is made to understand his unique and special role in one’s life.”

Time has become a social problem nowadays, you often hear someone saying, “I don’t have time for this and that”. Unfortunately, this running out of time is being reflected on our personal life too. One of the solutions to this problem is “speed dating” – a new kind of dating, of which the following article will inform you.

Considering the high rate of divorces among the population and the joint between love and marriage, why reckon dating to be sound and problem less?

Let me introduce you the notion of speed dating, the one that allows one to meet up to ten new people in one single evening.

Each date lasts only seven minutes, that’s why speed dating is so different from other typical meetings of new people. Another major difference between them is that, unlike the meeting of singles in bars, for example, people who use speed dating know perfectly well their objective.

The Game Itself

So what does this game of speed dating consist of? It’s very simple. All the participants (all of them should be single) gather in a certain place, it could be a café or something like that. They pair up and begin their dates. The subjects of their conversations exclude their careers and home addresses.

These conversations last only seven minutes each and, at the end of them, the couples are paired differently and the next seven-minutes-dates begin.

After every date finishes, all the speed daters answer on a card to the question whether they would like to meet their date again. And if this interest is reciprocal, the organizers give the telephone numbers to the daters.

Some Words About the Origin of Speed Dating

For the first time, speed dating was organized by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in 1999, it being based on a Jewish tradition meant to prevent the Jewish singles from marrying people of other faiths except theirs. It consisted of gatherings of young Jewish people. Next, this kind of tradition spread all over the globe.

Speed dating easily substitutes the blind dates and bar scenes, it is much more interesting and resentful.

What Are the Results of Speed Dating?

The results of these speed dates were absolutely positive for approximately half of the speed daters. Some people might say that it’s pretty boring to repeat the same quick conversations several times during the same evening, but it is considered that there also is another reason responsible for the success of the date, that is physical attraction or chemistry, you might call it.

One disadvantage of this new form of matchmaking is that seven minutes is quite a short time to get to know someone. Sometimes, people whom we reject after these seven minutes of speed dating could easily be right for us if we knew them better.

And vice versa-you might have been impressed and enraptured of someone you’ve dated for seven minutes, but after a longer time of knowing each other you realize that this Mr. or Ms.Right is not really as it seems.

In spite of this, speed dating is becoming more and more popular nowadays, achieving new and new points. Could this be a new revolution?

One of the main and common reasons of divorces nowadays, whose rate are, by the way, too increased over the last fifteen years and are not decreasing yet, is and remains the failure of two people in working out their differences.

Having gone through a divorce surely implies concerns and fears about beginning another relationship. It’s, actually, natural for negative experiences to bring such consequences and be inhibiting. So, if you are too cautious and prudent about dating someone new, remember that you’re not alone and it’s a normal state of mind after what you’ve been through. There’s nothing wrong in it.

But the solution wouldn’t be not dating at all or taking refuge at a monastery. Thus, you will only do yourself harm, because later you will realize you crave for human contact. Indeed, you should have a rest from dating and reflect about your past experience and your mistakes in it, but you shouldn’t exaggerate either.

Here are some tips and advices for you to follow after having suffered a divorce and wanting to be successful in further dating. Reading these guidelines won’t make you immediately find someone to get married to, but it will improve your dating experience.

1. A date doesn’t necessarily imply a marriage.

Usually, after sharing for years everything they have with a person, people get used to the marriage outlook and they hardly let it go once they’re separated from their ex-partner. That’s why when you begin to date someone else, you might feel that you will marry that person some day. A date doesn’t necessarily imply a marriage, so before falling victim to this way of thinking, just remember this. That’s why, while dating, experience new things and simply have fun, don’t feel too many obligations!

2. Give yourself enough time to breathe.

Don’t move on too quickly once your marriage is over. Give yourself time to breathe and to emotionally and mentally digest your divorce. If your divorce has just been finalized it doesn’t mean you should be in the clubs that same night, looking for a new life partner. Just go out with your friends, have some fun, but don’t start searching for “that someone”.

Every person has its own specific length of time to wait before beginning a new relationship, after having gone through a divorce. So you must feel yourself the very precise moment when you are emotionally ready to date with a new person and when you are capable of handling a new relationship with someone.

3. Be sincere and open.

You might feel tempted to hide details and circumstances of your divorce from your future dates, but you shouldn’t. Don’t lie about it, just tell them what you feel easy when talking about. They should know that you have been through a marriage before, that you have divorced and that you’re moving on now. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should give out all the unnecessary details to your date or pour out your soul to someone you don’t really know yet. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone who has had a similar experience, someone you have a lot of common with.

4. Don’t fall into old patterns.

When you start a new date, try not to make the same old mistakes you have made with your ex. Retaining old patterns won’t lead to any good, it will only cause you problems and harm. Remember who you really are, not who you used to be with your ex-partner and show yourself to your present or future date, start a new life. In case you don’t, you will only move on from a divorce to another.

5. Leave your baggage aside.

If your ex has caused you problems and resentment, that doesn’t mean every person of the opposite sex is like him/her. Don’t pour out your anger and deceivements from your ex-partner on your dates, it will only make things worse and you will never have a healthy relationship. So just forget about the divorce and leave all your anger aside. Your date isn’t guilty for whatever has happened to you, you should start anew.

Five Indications that You Aren’t Ready to Date:

Do you have doubts in whether you have moved too fast to date after your divorce and do you think you need more time for yourself? Read these indications that you aren’t ready to date yet:

  1. You still have pictures of your ex-spouse in your bedroom, and you still don’t feel like taking them from there.
  2. When dating someone else, you always take your ex-partner with you.
  3. It’s very hard for you to go on a date, because every time you do it, you feel emotionally weak after it.
  4. Even if you’re divorced, you feel like cheating on your ex when you date someone else.
  5. You try to compare your present date’s good and bad qualities with your ex-partner’s.

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